for Strings Only (string orchestra)
completed November 2017. Premiere TBD.
perusal score here.
April is probably one of the most haunting and personal pieces I have ever composed. Originally, it was being composed for New York University's Pulsing and Shaking new music festival....but I never finished the composition in time.
That isn't something a professional should admit, but here's why:
This was my way of pulling myself out of the darkest place I have ever been in, mentally. I had just started Wellbutrin for my anxiety, which was becoming out of control. The Wellbutrin pushed me over the edge.
Eventually, composing this music became too painful to continue doing. I kept the files, but in my mind I had already given up on it entirely. I was not in a mental state well enough to handle revisiting these emotions over and over and over and over again...
I eventually did finish this music, but now it is sitting on the shelf. I have uploaded it here in case anyone reads this story and is moved by it. Feel free to email me below for a MIDI mockup of it, but just know it won't do this piece justice. I hope I can delete this paragraph very soon and post a real recording of this work of pure emotion.